Why Greasers Don't Go To Church
by Sassmaster626
Summary: I'd been in church before. I used to go all the time, even after mom and dad were gone. This is a one-shot of the time Pony and Johnny talked the guys into going to church.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders!**

**Pony's POV**

Johnny and I decided to go to church today. I talked Soda into coming with us. But he didn't want to come unless Steve did, and Two-Bit decided he might as well come too. Dally was sleeping off a hangover and Darry was working.

So, Two-Bit drove all of us in his car. Soda or Steve could have driven us, but Two-Bit was the oldest and it was his car. Johnny and I went to church before, but we sat in the back, trying to get something out of the sermon and avoiding the people, because we weren't dressed so sharp. Nobody seemed to mind, and Johnny and I liked to go.

"Are we almost there?" Soda of course asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." I said.

"I have to take a piss!" Steve yelled.

"Just wait till we get to the church." Johnny suggested.

"I can't! Two-Bit, pull over!"

"Are you serious?" Two-bit laughed.

"Yeah, pull over!"

Two-Bit stopped the car and Steve ran out to pee.

"Come on, Steve. How long does it take you to piss?" Soda asked.

Steve put his arm back and flicked us off.

"We're gonna be late." I said getting annoyed.

Just then, a car drove by and a little girl inside said, "ew, mommy, that boy's peeing!" Steve waved at the car. All of us burst out laughing, especially Two-Bit. Steve finished and got back in the car.

"Finally." I said.

"Shut up." Steve hit my arm.

"Don't touch me with your pee hands!" I yelled.

Everyone laughed again.

Xxxxx

We got to the church and sat in the back as usual. We were only there for about fifteen minutes. Johnny and I were trying to pay attention to the sermon. Soda can't sit still long enough to enjoy a movie, much less a sermon. It wasn't long before he and Steve and Two-Bit were throwing paper wads at each other and clowning around. Some people would occasionally turn and sneer at us.

Then Soda stepped on my foot.

"Ow, Soda!" I didn't mean to yell.

"Sorry, Pony!" he grinned and the three of them laughed.

"Can you guys be quiet? It's almost over." I whispered.

"We could but we don't wanna!" Two-Bit hollered.

"This is boring!" Soda wailed.

"You guys are acting like idiots!" I kind of yell-whispered, which made them, laugh harder.

"I know you are but what am I?" Two-Bit said sounding just like a child. The three of them roared with laughter.

"Shut up, guys. Y'all gonna get us kicked out of here." Johnny tried.

"Good!" Steve sang.

Xxxxx

When it was time for communion, Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit, made fun of every person walking down the aisle.

An old lady dropped her book and Two-Bit walked over to her. He picked it up to our surprise.

"You dropped your book ma'am." he said.

"Thank you, Sunny boy." She said.

"Who are you calling Sunny boy? He yelled in her face. I knew it was too good to be true. She turned and ran off quickly.

The three of them of course laughing harder.

When it was our turn to walk up, Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit were giving the people in the seats high fives. Some people went along with it. Others would give them a clueless look or ignore them. When they ignored them, Two-Bit or Soda would say something like, "Fine, I see how it is," or "alright, be that way." My face was getting redder and redder.

I took a sip of the wine and Soda yelled, "Pony, you can't drink that!"

Two-Bit was like, "Wine! Gimme some!" he practically pushed Steve out of the way, who almost fell but grabbed onto a man to save his fall. Then, the three of them ran down the aisle to our seats. I just want this to be over.

When we reached our seats, Johnny looked the same way I did. Finally, Steve dropped a hymn book with a bang- accidently of course. Everyone in the place turned to look at us, and Johnny and I nearly crawled under the pews. And then Two-Bit _waved _at them. We're never coming back here.

"Let's leave and never come back." Johnny whispered to me.

I nodded in agreement. I wonder what Darry would have done if her were here?

Xxxxx

Johnny and I sat in silence the rest of the way home, while Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit laughed about what just happened. I guess they don't get embarrassed. Or maybe they just don't care. Yeah. That's got to be it. I'd like to get them back for this. I laughed lightly.

Two-Bit dropped Soda and I off at home and drove Johnny and Steve home.

We walked inside and saw Darry sitting in the arm chair.

"Hey, guys. Have fun?" he asked.

"Hell no."

"Yes!" Soda yelled.

"What happened?" Darry asked.

"You don't wanna know." I replied.

"Hey, Pony, we should all go again next Sunday!" Soda yelled.

**Hahahaha my cousins and I used to do shit like that in church all the time! :D**


End file.
